- Trigger warning~ Miscarriage & infant death*
For those that don’t know, I’m currently 20 weeks pregnant with my third bubba. I have Miss 11, Master 22months and Miss 20weeks still cooking away.
All three babies are surprises, and by that I mean, we had discussed having a baby, but it hadn’t been decided definitely. Until it was.
Although we hadn’t decided definitely, given my history of miscarriage, (this is my tenth pregnancy) it has been an absolute blessing to have been able to fall pregnant and carry them to term. (I’m making an assumption Miss 20weeks will stay cooking for another 18weeks at least)
I am part of a pregnant mothers group. A few days ago one of the ladies had to deliver via emergency cesarean section as there were complications… at 21 weeks. Little Buddy did very well for the first 24 hours. Then the Drs found a bleed in his tiny brain. They can’t stop it. They have given him no more than four days to live.
His Mum and Dad have been told they have four days to hold his tiny hand, to hug him as they can, to tell Him how much he is wanted and loved.
My heart broke for these people I have never met, never known. That I will probably never meet, never know, yet I feel an incredible sorrow and yes, my heart has physically ached all day, I feel an overwhelming sense of love and loss for this young family. Even as I type this I have tears streaming down my face. Her pain to me is unconscionable.
How do you “get over” this?
I mean, yes I’ve been through miscarriage and that’s bloody tough but to have to actually deliver and meet your little one… UGH the pain!!! I have spoken with a few friends about how you’d move forward as of course you must, the overwhelming thought/belief is that they will meet again one day in the spirit world. I believe this also. But the pain here and now……
How do you keep on moving?
If you or a family you know have suffered a loss and is needing support please reach out to someone. There are many support services available for recovery and encouragement;
SANDS 1300 072 637, an independent organisation that provides support for newborn death, stillbirth and miscarriage.
Pregnancy Birth & Baby 1800 882 436 Advice and emotional support 7 days a week
Bears Of Hope 1300 11 HOPE Provide grief support and care for families who have experienced the loss of their baby